The Dangers of Downsizing
by Beautiful Tenshi
Summary: When a recession befalls the city of Midgar, who rises up to combat the evils of cutting costs? The Turks, that's who! Poor Shinra never knew what hit it...


Author's Notes: Thinking about the economic troubles we've been having lately, I wondered how the Turks might handle such a thing as a recession if it befell their world. This is my result…I hope you like it!

~*~

The Dangers of Downsizing

From her vantage point on the top floor of the Shinra Building, Elena of the Turks watched as thick flakes of snow drifted down from the skies outside her window. Winter was usually her least favorite time of year, having been born in a port town only a few miles south of Costa Del Sol, but today not even the bitterest cold could diminish her good mood.

The reason?

Tseng had given her a new weapon after she succeeded in delaying Avalanche from catching up to Shinra at Icicle Inn with a well-timed punch. She was ready to argue that Cloud had only pissed her off to the point where she had to take her aggression out on something - ANYTHING - but it was the first praise she had received since being promoted to the Turks and Tseng rarely complimented anyone. She refused to believe it was just his near-death experience talking. No, she definitely deserved some praise after all this time. She just wished she could have told him that her actions had all been for him. Oh well, there was always time for that later. Today, she could bask in the glory that she had won a battle without the help of her comrades, and had been duly rewarded for it.

She looked down at said reward resting in her hands. A MK-06XKZ Laser Rifle, newly engineered to handle Summon as well as Standard Magic Materia, and capable of firing 20 Mako-enhanced rounds per minute. She couldn't keep the grin off her face at the thought. Reno was going to be _SO_ jealous...

As if she had summoned him with this thought, her red-headed companion strode into the room, carrying his usual tray of afternoon snacks. Rude, carrying a similar tray with a salad and breadsticks, followed right on his heels.

"-And so I was telling him, you've got to stick with the green ones. The blues can cross rivers no problem, but in a 20 mile race on _land_? Heh! The green ones have got 'em beat! Then again, if you've got a _black_ one...woah, man! You might as well have the race in the _bag_!"

Elena rolled her eyes at the commentary. That was Reno for you...if he wasn't talking about women, food, or weaponry, gambling on chocobo races was the only other likely topic. She was content to ignore him and continue her study of the Midgar landscape being covered in snow, but Reno noticed her first. Setting his tray down on the table, he strolled over to her.

"Hey, Ele...whatcha got there?"

"It's nothing...just something I got from Tseng," she said, pulling the gun closer. On second thought, Reno and jealousy never went well together, she noted as she watched his eyes go wide as saucers. It was too late to hide the weapon now, however. Reno saw it and knew it for what it was, having kept close relationships with all the engineers in the company. To see Elena with a product he had probably mooned over when the first blueprints came out must be torture. His face slowly changed to a shade of red that nearly matched his hair, as he studied the item cradled in her arms.

Then, as quickly as it had come, Reno's face drained and he was all calm composure once again. With a laugh, he motioned for Rude to look up.

"...Would ya look at that? Not bad, Elena. Toss it here; I wanna see how well it works."

Elena was ready to comply when she noticed the smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth. It would seem jealousy had won out after all. Any thought of one-upmanship vanished as that smirk became a feral grin, and she stepped back out of his reach accordingly.

"Ohhh no! Don't you even think about it Reno! This is mine, and I'm not letting you get your greedy hands on it!"

"The _hell_?! Didn't your mother teach you to share?" The redhead cried in outrage, taking a swipe at the weapon. Elena sniffed and moved it further out of reach, accidentally hitting the window in the process. She swore loudly.

"Watch it, jackass! She also taught me not to suffer fools. You shouldn't take me lightly!"

Reno's eyes narrowed at the comment. "That's rude. Don't you think that's rude, Rude?"

The bald man frowned but didn't argue. Reno took this for agreement and walked over to Elena who stood examining the laser rifle under the light of the desk lamp, obviously checking for scratches. Swiping it from her hand, he dashed around the desk and flipped the switch. The gun crackled shortly and then hummed to life, sending off a few snaps of electricity as Reno waved it around, mesmerized. Elena was nothing short of fuming, and sped over to reclaim the device.

"YOU GIVE THAT BACK! It's _MINE_, I said!"

"I just wanna _try_ it! Damn it, 'Lena, it's not everyday we get new weaponry. Lemme celebrate a little!"

"I don't care if you never see any new equipment in your life; I want that back right now or I'm taking your EMR!"

Reno, who was busy being mesmerized by the tiny currents of electricity, didn't reply and was only brought back to reality when he felt something fall from his wrist. Looking down, he realized the leather band that kept the EMR on him at all times was missing. Elena had removed it and was now attaching it to her own wrist. The EMR buzzed to life shortly after, and Reno was left to chase her around the room as she waved it above her head where he couldn't reach it.

"Hey, hey, _HEY_! That is off-limits to anyone but me! You put it down, now!"

"Not before you give me back my laser rifle!"

"Damn, why do you have to be so stingy?! I was just tryin' it out!" Reno yelled, ducking, as Elena waved the rod higher above her. "Christ, Elena, you're gonna hit the fluorescents! Put it down, goddamnit!"

"Screw you!!" Elena shouted back.

Rude shook his head as the two took another lap around the room before settling into a standoff position in front of the desk. It was clear they were ready to do battle for their respective weapon-of-choice.

Well, it was now or never.

Rude grabbed them both by the crook of the arm and pressed down. _Hard_. His actions effectively ended the argument, as Reno and Elena howled in pain and dropped their weapons to clutch at the temporary injuries. With scowls and more than one promise of payback from each, the two scrambled away from each other as Rude collected the weapons and returned them to the desk in front of him.

"If you guys are done, now..."

"Yeah! Yeah! Just get on with it, man!" Reno spat, alternating between shaking his arm and rubbing it. Elena looked back and forth between the two men worriedly. Get on with what? Apparently having lunch with her wasn't their only purpose for coming up here. If that was the case...what were they doing here? Rubbing the pain out of her own arm, she nodded impatiently for Rude to elaborate.

"We've got a new mission..." he began.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. I found out just before lunchtime. The President has ordered us to..."

"-To?"

"...Close down the Junon weapon warehouse."

Reno's head shot up in surprise. "_WHAT_?! You serious, partner?!"

Rude straightened and stared ahead blankly, folding his hands in front of him. ".........."

"Ah, he is! Totally serious! But Rude, why?! We haven't gone through our quota have we?" Elena cried.

Rude shook his head. "No. The President said..."

"-Said?! What did he say?!"

"...that the inauguration effect on the economy has worn off."

"Meaning...?"

"Meaning we have less support than we did when Rufus became President. And because of Sephiroth's activity, his approval rating has dropped lower than his father's ever was."

Elena frowned in puzzlement. "So what does that have to do with the warehouse?" she asked.

"Less support means less money for us to spend on things such as missions, benefits, weaponry...you get the idea now? He wants to downsize. Says it's for the best," Rude explained patiently. He then shrugged as if the news had little weight, but his companions were nothing short of astounded. Elena breathed out in a slow whine as the information sunk in, while Reno slumped to the floor, all strength in his legs giving out.

Elena looked over at their weapons resting on the desk. If Tseng had given her the rifle already knowing what the President had planned, it may very well be the only one of its kind. She silently prayed that this fact would not become apparent to Reno. As if reading her mind, Rude added, "The weapons department just found out too. They'll start slowing production next week." Elena frowned and looked toward Reno fearfully. The redhead, however, was still staring off into space.

"Why is my life suddenly flashing before my eyes...?" he asked dazedly a few minutes later.

Elena kicked him roughly.

"Don't be so dramatic!"

"Me?! You were the one that wished this...this _curse_ upon us!! 'I don't care if you never see any new equipment in your life' ha! This is all YOUR fault, Blondie!" Reno said, pointing an accusatory finger at the young woman. Elena's jaw worked soundlessly until she came up with a reply.

"Oh yeah, I'm in charge of economic affairs aren't I? Get real, Reno! If you want to blame anyone for this crisis, blame whoever is in charge of marketing _us_ to look like the _good_ guys!"

Frowning over her rebuttal, Reno gave this idea some thought.

"Who exactly _is_ that anyway...?"

~*~

20 minutes later, after some thorough investigating...

The Turks took the elevator down to the R&D level of the Shinra building; called simply by those who couldn't bother to remember its full name, 'Floor 62.' With the deadly grace of those accustomed to striking fear into the hearts of men, women, and cafeteria personnel, the trio strolled confidently past the libraries for the Scientific Research and Urban Development departments. They stopped once they reached the only office on the level. Knocking sharply on the door, they waited eagerly for its lone occupant to admit them.

After a few moments, a disheveled-looking man in his early 60s opened the door to the sight of his highly disturbed coworkers. The man was none other than Domino, the arrogant and often-disgruntled mayor of Midgar.

"Uh yes...can I help you?" he asked distractedly, adjusting his glasses. Reno lunged for him.

"YOU-!" he growled, tackling the man back into the office.

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" Elena screamed, grabbing the tie hanging loosely from his neck and pulling it tighter.

"W-what?!" he gasped.

"You made us look bad, Domino, and now you're gonna pay!"

"I don't know what you're talking about! I-I don't have anything to do with the Turks division! If it's about the keycard I gave to those rebels, I swear they forced me into it!"

"What are you talking about?! You got our weapons taken away because your poor marketing job lost us consumer confidence!" Elena announced shrilly.

"You know what happens when Turks don't get new weapons?" Reno added, slowly lowering his glasses over his eyes. "Things get _dangerous_..."

"Yeah. _Dangerous_..." Elena agreed, taking a spare pair from Rude's pocket and putting them on.

"_Dangerous_..." the bald man nodded.

The mother of all sweat drops fell from Domino's face as he watched the door to the office slowly swing shut. He knew that due to the nature of work on this level, all doors were reinforced with a titanium alloy that kept noise down to a minimum. If the Turks succeeded in trapping him here, no one would be any the wiser. In fact, it might be days before anyone even noticed he had gone missing. Days in which the Turks could exact their revenge any way they saw fit... He gulped at the thought until another, far worse, took its place. Days they could spend thinking up _additional_ punishments for him...

With one last, desperate, ounce of strength, he hollered for his life.

"Oh dear Shiva... H-help! Security?! Hart?! ANYBODY?!!?!!?!! _EEYAAAAAGHHHHH_!!!!!!!!!"

~*~

And so, as the door closed, muffling the unfortunate mayor's screams from within, Tseng turned the corner and headed back toward the stairs whence he had come. "Are you sure this was the right thing to do, letting them believe Domino was responsible?" he asked of the man walking beside him. "The rebels didn't do _that_ much damage when they were here..."

Rufus looked over at him in surprise until he saw the smile tugging at Tseng's lips. The man _would_ find an attack by a motley crew of terrorists funny. "I'm positive, Tseng," he answered confidently. "Repairing 100,000 gil worth of carpeting, signage, and window damage is not what I had in mind upon inheriting this company."

"So this has nothing at all to do with Dark Nation, then?"

Rufus paused, his eyes clouding, but then went on smoothly, "...Of course not. I never even considered that."

"Hmm," was all the reply he received, but soon Tseng's laughter could be heard echoing off the walls as Rufus marched stiffly on ahead; a man made of ice indeed.

~*~

-The End

Author's Notes: Aww, poor Rufus. I had to put him scheming in the background somewhere…but couldn't help making him a sap over Dark Nation, either. I hope any hardcore Rufus fans out there will forgive me…it was just too much fun to resist! ^^;


End file.
